


in love

by hojoonahaf



Series: hansol x bjoo [5]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I love fluff, M/M, if you haven't noticed yet lmao, im a sucker for fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8522194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hojoonahaf/pseuds/hojoonahaf
Summary: the one in which b-joo realizes he’s in love





	

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on my tumblr (hojoonahaf.tumblr.com)  
> hope you like c:

The realization came slowly, step by step.  
At first, it was just this feeling of joy that aroused every time he was close to Hansol, something that had actually always been there in some way, but that had grown stronger over the last few months, until it was there, too, when he just thought about his bandmate.  
  
He misinterpreted it as their close friendship and didn’t think of it anymore until he noticed how he loved the attention Hansol was giving him, both on camera and privately and how he missed this attention when Hansol wasn’t there and how he couldn’t stop thinking about it then, until he saw his friend again who would give him a bright smile and pull him close and make everything okay again.  
It was then he began to suspect that something wasn’t like it used to be, that something was new about him and Hansol, something he had yet to figure out.

Yano helped him with that, the two of them talking about music and love and whatnot all night, except that when his friend told him about his feelings for that girl, B-Joo couldn’t help but think about Hansol. The things Yano was describing were so similar to his own feelings towards his friend that B-Joo grew all quiet for the rest of the conversation, unable to comprehend what had just dawned upon him. 

He lay awake that night, his mind occupied by all these thoughts.   
He’d considered many things, but being in love wasn’t what he’d expected. It was obvious now, because how else would he explain his racing heart or those butterflies in his stomach when he saw Hansol, things he’d ignored up until now. How else would he explain that sometimes when he looked at his friend it was like looking at the stars, that he couldn’t help but stare all of a sudden, finding new details in Hansol’s features that he’d never noticed before. There were so many other things too, like the physical contact Byungjoo had been craving or all these hours he’d spent thinking about his friend because he’d missed him so much. It was clear now, and in all honestly, he didn’t know what to do.  
It wasn’t like he had a problem with homosexuality - that wasn’t the case at all, but finding out that he kind of liked boys, or at least Hansol, too, was unsettling for some reason. He didn’t really want to think about it anymore, but he couldn’t just go to sleep and ignore all of it, knowing that he would have to face Hansol tomorrow which meant facing these emotions all over again. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, but really, there was nothing he could do about it.  
He fell asleep one hour before he had to get up again, dreaming about Hansol’s lips.

-

“You look tired.”, was the first thing Hansol told him when they saw each other the next day and Byungjoo already felt like going crazy because his crush was all over him, hugging him casually as they sat next to each other at breakfast, talking about some idea for a choreography he had, while the only thing B-Joo could concentrate on was his heart hammering in his chest that he was so sure Hansol would feel if he came any closer, if he wasn’t feeling it already. It was quite stressful, but he didn’t push Hansol away, thinking it would be weird if he did.  
Later, when he was alone again, he decided to just ignore it, or at least try to, because it was the only option that seemed logical if he wanted to keep everything the way it was.

He lasted about a week before he couldn’t handle it anymore.  
It was just the two of them and B-Joo was frustrated - Hansol was especially touchy-feely that day, barely leaving him alone, and while B-Joo did enjoy it, it was also a lot to handle. So, without really thinking, he blurted:  
“Ah, Hansol, will you stop touching me?”  
“Why?” Hansol looked all hurt and B-Joo knew it was because he’d said it way too harshly, but he couldn’t really help it - he was  _so_  angry at everything and most of all at himself for having fallen for his friend and now being unable to do anything against it.  
“Because I really really like you and you’re making it hard to forget about it!”  
The anger turned into a mix of relief and regret even before the words had fully left his mouth - he hadn’t really meant to say it, but keeping secrets from Hansol was not something he was used to, kind of even worse than just telling him the truth, no matter how ugly the truth was.  
Still, there were tears stinging in his eyes all of a sudden, because how the hell was he going to explain this without ruining the great friendship the two of them had?  
Not daring to look up, he waited for some sort of reaction, but there was none at first, until Hansol cleared his throat and said:  
“Are you serious?” and B-Joo just nodded, knowing he wasn’t in a state of pretending for all of it to be a joke.   
“Byungjoo, I…wait, are you crying?”  
The next thing he knew was Hansol pulling him into an embrace once again, rubbing his back as B-Joo, sniffling, tried to regain composure.  
“It’s okay.”, his friend told him softly, a smile in his voice. “Byungjoo, I was going to say I like you too.”  
B-Joo needed a few seconds, still clinging to Hansol, unable to process the words properly because he was a mess, had been a mess for all this time he’d kept it secret from Hansol.  
“What?”, he asked eventually, his words muffled by his friend’s shoulder, not entirely sure if he’d heard correctly.   
“Go on a date with me?”, Hansol continued almost shyly, his arms still around the other.  
B-Joo’s face was burning now, the tears slowly stopping as he raised his head to look at Hansol who smiled at him carefully. It was then he realized that Hansol wasn’t joking, that he actually liked him back and wanted to go on a  _date._  
Byungjoo nodded, trying to ignore the multitude of feelings inside of him that he knew he’d have to handle later.   
“I…yeah.”, he stuttered, a smile spreading on his face as Hansol reached out to dry his tears with his sleeve before pulling him back into his arms. 


End file.
